Sketch of Ekidue

My name is Ekidue, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance!

I am an incarnate fae, and your (hopefully humble enough) guide for understanding the fairy people. I study fae lore and media involving them and post my findings on this website.

I am a starseed lightworker. In other words, I am an old soul who is not entirely human specially sent to help raise Gaia and the people here up to the 5th dimension. This is called ascension and will involve a reunion with the fair folk on the other side, as well as countless other extraterrestrial races due to the purpose set out for this planet, which involves great cosmopolitanism. My general mission is to anchor light for the collective, and my specific one seems to involve both nature and the internet. I have probably had many other lifetimes besides being fae or human; I suspect I may originally be from the Orion constellation, but I could also be an old Sirian. I wholeheartedly believe in the veracity of this as well as the mission itself being righteous.

I do not believe a great deal of claims from mainstream academics or media. I do believe in science but more in the suppressed information, not what comes from the secular materialist paradigm that has gripped the establishment for nearly a century. I have skepticism for something until I feel it is absolutely proven, but at the same time I am open‑minded and want the truth above all. I have used this attitude to steer my mind throughout my recent life, making me doubt even the deepest, most dug‑in philosophical paradigms. However, my sense of logic was far too overbearing over an immature intuition. I eventually learned to use this logic in union with an elevated sense of intuition, which involves clairsentience. I do not wish to practice conventional academic neutrality, as this would be suppressive of the information that is ripe for mass dissemination.

We are now in the apocalpyse. Do not be alarmed; the real meaning of the word apocalypse is revelation in Greek. We are in the time for everything to be revealed as we ascend. Therefore, it seems very appropriate to make this website to radiate this information out and let people warm up to their good neighbors.

I write a great deal, it seems to be a talent of mine although I have dealt with extremities between glibness and hardly even being fluent in my own first language. I write poetry and am influenced by the Romanticist style, and I do tend to sound a bit antiquated even in everyday speech. I write prose as well, along with heavy journaling and data documentation. I will host some of my work on here. Be informed that some of it may be rather erotic. I may eventually publish work available for purchase, which would be a good way to support me.

I am also empathic and transfem along with having other interesting traits which have seasoned my journey. If you are curious about my life and how I’ve worked with all these aspects of myself click on the My Journey section, where I especially talk about my spiritual life.

What I think about politics, and where I think it is not relevant

I have gone through many phases in the development of my perspective about politics, having had many types of philosophies which have influenced me at different times in my life. But for me, politics creates structures that are of a lower nature than much of spirituality. My spirituality is more general and all‑encompassing than any political philosophy. I have said for awhile that my politics can be summed up as how much love is in the system, whatever that given system is. Love is a force far grander than any temporal structure. Right now I do, however, lean towards anarcho‑communism as having the most potential for love, the system that has the largest capacity I know of and which is absolutely in line with the Age of Aquarius. It is a philosophy I detested in earlier times of my life (look up horseshoe theory). However, as much as I can empathize with the current Marxist resurgence in reaction to a crumbling system of late‑stage capitalism accelerated by central banking, it is not a replacement for spirituality to me. Although the more rigorous scientific nature of Marxism can be appealing (if you go through Marx's original work, I especially had a lightbulb moment when hearing about the Labor Theory of Value), spirituality is my true bedrock which has led me past incredible turmoil intact, and let me be able to heal afterwards. I would say that it would be much more accurate to call me politically Daoist, but I won't pretend that it doesn't line up with anarcho-communism a great deal, similar to how the early Christian church was said to be, or old Neolithic societies like the Cucuteni-Tripillia culture (which did apparently last for centuries).

I am not the sort of person who likes to dismiss talking points too quickly for mere association with a certain faction. The argument itself is worth discussing, not ad hominem behavior such as dismissing it for an association with a disliked faction as their talking point. Hitler ate sugar, as it is said. I take in information from different factions, all with a grain of salt. I act like a chameleon where I can enter the different factions’ spaces and, usually silently, listen to their given perspective. Indifference is an increasingly frequent stance I take. Not pessimistic indifference, not middle‑ground fallacy centrism either. More like I can see a silver lining to situations, the divine plan unfolding even if ever so chaotically. It is a powerful practice which can create inner peace over time.

What is not politics is people. Mentioning certain peoples from a given demographic is not something that can rightly be considered politicized. If you fall under a demographic that others consider loaded conversation to talk about, do not let yourself be erased.

Hobbies and Interests (Lampshading here: I'm pretty aware that I seem rather self‑absorbed, but this is an About Me page after all and you clicked it and I am pretty open so I think I'm good...)

My main interest is my mission, which involves self‑improvement and self‑care. I incorporate a great deal of Eastern philosophy in my paradigm framework as well as Stoicism, which can be similar. I was brought up Catholic, though, and although it would be very difficult to call me a mainsteam Christian now I have kept forgiveness as a very important value. I have made it an endeavor to build faith, in a general sense, as a force in my life, so I do find it worthy and a learning experience to rely on people and allied spirits in my life. I see the Divine Plan as an inevitable force of nature, literally, part of natural law like mathematics.

Aesthetics: I tend to resonate with aesthetic elements of Western pagan, Wiccan and also Japanese spiritual traditions, but I cannot say I am totally aligned with the philosophies of them. However, I am what I call an environmental or aesthetic empath, so I do feel these energies quite deeply. I have tended to swing like a pendulum between Eastern and Western aesthetics, as they can come off as quite different in taste, although I feel a familiar richness from both. It might be a good idea for me to allot more time to the deeper aspects of these traditions, especially to the mysteries of Luna and celebrating the Wheel of the Year more enthusiastically.

Touhou: I do take part in a certain fandom/religion, and that would be the Japanese indie game series and general multimedia juggernaut Touhou Project (東方プロジェクト). I remember when a friend first introduced me to the series in June 2010, a momentous time in my life. This was around when the big IOSYS music videos were being discovered in the West, and the Japanese fandom itself was reaching new heights. The character design caught my attention right away. The creative, detailed design often makes the characters resemble dolls, and I realized that I am an enthusiast for more antiquated clothing. Plus they are very charming; I adore Remilia Scarlet and I also like Patchouli Knowledge, Youmu and Wriggle Nightbug a great deal. The gameplay is pretty neat if you have the patience, or just a knack for it, as it can be very difficult and potentially frustrating. Once you get your first no-continue six stage completion you will likely feel very accomplished, maybe a path to higher self confidence for some? The music is what hooked me for good, though. ZUN, the creator of the series, knows how to create moods for very specific themes, which I find amazing. The whole series seems richly overflowing with magic, and even acts as a sort of nexus point between the East and the West. Another thing that seems to attract me is the sense of seclusion, isolation, or localness. The series takes place in a sort of old-fashioned, supernatural, Japanese pocket dimension. Something feels awfully special to me about the energy, culture and lore of a local area, especially if it is on the rural side.

Artistic Pursuits: Art in all of its forms is becoming an increasingly greater presence in my life, and I am steadily becoming more comfortable and feel more capable in making it myself. Writing is a comfort zone, and something I see as potential to support myself with, but I have also taken up drawing. I am vying to get a keyboard to mess around with. ZUN, TAMUSIC, Rachmaninoff and other composers have solidly inspired me to, at least eventually, try my fingers with one. I am also increasingly gravitating my attention towards more traditional performing arts such as theater, choir and ballet. Maybe one day I will perform on stage again, like back in school...Oh, and I want to sew eventually. I love clothes, at least certain types. I have lots to keep me occupied, including this website, but the mission is priority and that sometimes feels like it takes time and effort, so I may come off as a slower artist than others.

Music: I took interest in music growing up and it developed into something pretty comprehensive. Naturally, being raised in the rural Midwest, I heard the local staple bands like AC/DC, Guns N' Roses, Mötley Crüe, Queen and Led Zeppelin at an earlier age (I swear that people have been playing Led Zeppelin less lately, though). During my adolescence I got into grunge, but much later than when the scene ruled the airwaves. I used to listen to a lot of The Beatles early on too, but they sort of faded from my attention, although I could easily be swayed into listening to The White Album. I was exposed to R.E.M. relatively early in my initial dive into the world of music and have heard a lot of their catalogue. These days, like R.E.M., I listen to a lot of eighties and nineties college radio style music like Dinosaur Jr., Talking Heads, Sonic Youth and Radiohead (You know, when I've lost myself for a minute). I also like shoegaze and/or dreampop and/or gothic music like Cocteau Twins, Type O Negative, Siouxsie and the Banshees and Beach House. Sometimes I listen to straight up metal or hardcore punk like Black Sabbath, Kyuss, Judas Priest or Minutemen when I am in a certain mood, and Death Grips for a very particular mood. Grateful Dead, Steely Dan, Fleetwood Mac and Brian Wilson as some of the older classic type stuff. I know these artists are totally /mu/core but sometimes, just sometimes, I do listen to AC/DC (I promise). More outright electronic music is also a particular interest, especially trip‑hop, breakbeat, eurobeat, deep house and the Scandinavian bubblegum scene that has provided a great deal of content for the Bemani music games. Then there is denpa, a niche Japanese music genre that comes off as quite hyperactive and, well, a lot sometimes, but totally worth it! And finally there is video game music, especially by Team Shanghai Alice and Touhou fan circles like ShibayanRecords, IOSYS, Innocent Key and Syrup Comfiture. Music means a lot to me, as would be apparent.

Anime/Manga: Anime/manga is very appealing to me because, first of all, I am intrigued about Japan. Anime/manga features cuteness (Kawaisa), an attitude found across so much of Japanese society, as a very important element in the crafting of it, or at least for a great swath of the content out there. Anime also tends to explore certain subjects that are more taboo in Hollywood, such as forbidden love. One of the biggest draws to anime/manga for me, though, is that some shows, often labeled iyashikei, do not use elevated conflict as a major draw. Iyashikei roughly translates to healingcore, and involves an implicit or more explicit paradise or set of characters with what could be commonly seen to have ideal or oft‑romanticized lives. Many of these shows involve cute girls (Moe girls). I like a lot of these shows, although sometimes admittedly the originality of certain moegirl anime has been thin. This often Seinfeldian set‑up is fresh air for those who want to avoid violence and drama; many have had quite their fill of it in their lives. Anime/manga could still use some work on dropping the queer‑baiting, though. Maybe producers are trying to play it safe, and don't even really understand the queer community yet. Only very recently have queer people spoken up en masse about respect, etiquette, boundaries and common preferences, after all, with much drawn‑out spoon‑feeding. However, that is a very generous sort of devil's advocate take on my part. Some markets for anime/manga just happen to be less tolerant than others after all; that would be more of a late‑stage capitalism angle. Still, there is significant and quality queer visibility and storytelling out there, some of it quite epic. Some of my favorite anime include Lucky Star, Azumanga Daioh, Utena, Little Witch Academia, A Little Snow Fairy Sugar, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, Cardcaptor Sakura (The music is god‑tier), Paniponi Dash, Shokugeki no Souma, Squid Girl, Hellsing Ultimate (It is dark but I love the hardcore old world feel and the interesting relationships), Soul Eater, Toradora and yes, many Ghibli films. I looooove Studio Shaft OST. For some reason I have this sort of full feeling for certain popular nineties and early 2000s anime like Sailor Moon, Slayers and maybe Ranma 1/2 and Inuyasha to boot, as if I have already seen them in another life.

Gaming: I remember when I was little being enchanted by Super Ma‑Dio Warudo for the first time. The colors, sprites, movements and setting were so enchanting. I grew up with 'Nendo, and didn't veer much from that with a big exception of two well‑used PS3s, the second replacing the first after its circuits fried. Anyway, I started with a 64 late in its market life, around 2000 or 2001. My best friend had far more games than me, but I played the jimmies out of the ones I had. Me and my friend would play Smoosh, the first one and then the the second one for the prism, most of the time, sometimes also playing Ma‑Dio Party‑of‑One. Lozz and the Sword was another favorite series I both played by myself or watched my friend play. We played these for as long as we were together really, sometimes drinking at the same time when we were older. They are extremely cozy memories, although there are better ways than with alcohol tsk tsk. I played single‑player a great deal too, especially on PS3, like some of the Elder Scrolls series. I may have started more with Flash games on Addicting Games, an old site, games like Castle Defense and Interactive Buddy. I was part of the Poker Man generation, and I was obsessed at times. One of the most influential 'Nendo single player series for me is probably Primal Meteoroid. It may have made me ultimately decide to major in Biology (Got a more general‑discipline degree in the end, though, but that seems a me thing to do.) Going around scanning exotic creatures was something that appealed to me, likely because I was a left brain‑dominant nature lover. Ma‑Dio Papyrus is a particularly funny and creative series. Snoic Adventure 2 was pretty great, I mostly played with Chaos. The soundtrack is incredible, and I love the characters. I played Runescape as a non-member, generally fishing and doing relatively low risk play like combatting monsters at or lower than my level. I found the gender‑changing wizard and payed thousands of GP to change back and forth until I stayed as a girl, and then sold the account for five dollars and a couple of small Legos (I didn't mention this yet, but I may have been on a Bionicle collecting craze back then, so that could explain why. It wasn't based on shame for turning my player female or anything). Years later on I played Valve games and Touhou around the same time, when both collections were very popular around the beginning of the 2010s. I've already talked about Touhou. To be honest the Valve games haven't had that big of an impact on me, but I am not denying that they are feats. I remember a very innocent time in my life around 2013 when I played Dark Souls and my younger sibling would watch me play, before graduating high school (For a number of reasons I had decided to stay at my parents for awhile). Not to mention, going back to Anime, we would watch One Piece together, and we were enthralled. Part of the joy of this point in my life was probably, admittedly, stemming to a mix of blissful ignorance and being hopped up on energy drinks, Death Grips and Denpa. I have slowly started to play more tabletop games, too.

Haircuts: I like certain haircuts quite a lot. One of the first I remember taking a particular interest in is what is known as a hime cut, which is often paired with a classic raven‑hair, ivory‑skin look that I was once drawn to in a particular way. I still love straight, long and orderly hair that comes down in tresses. As for another cut, I am a witnesser and nostalgic enjoyer of a specific pixie cut that was found around the late 2000s to early 2010s. Some people's minds might veer to what is known as the Karen cut. No, that would be mistaken. This is a lighter cut, with longer locks around the ears and often looking very layered and feathery with a triangular shape in the back. The occasional video game may display a character sporting this. Kozue from Utena is a pretty clear‑cut example. This haircut is absolutely wonderful. And then I love a good long single braid, and this is the type of hairdo I prefer for myself (If I can be made to braid my hair instead of just keeping it as a ponytail).

Basements: For some reason basements feel amazing to me. They tend to be dark places where people store things, things that can be wonderful to rediscover. I really like the kind with a special musty smell and a sizeable utility or storage room. In a basement one can find venerable items like forty‑year‑old tabletop game sets and drawings of characters from decades-old JRPGs. There are also basement bars, but I don't drink anymore *sighs*. Then there are those basements with old bedroom spaces containing the old possessions of people who are fifteen years past moving to another part of the country. There are some basements with rooms where you imagine people toked from cardboard pieces. I feel like there are the sorts of stories from basements that seem humble at first but then are realized as precious and with you for the rest of your life. For me one of the standout basements was at my friend's house I mainly visited in high school, where we would have video game parties playing fighting games like It's Me, Lee! and Guilty Gear. We would have pizza and parrot YTP quotes ad nauseum, too, it was wonderful.

My Journey
My work and how to support me